On Wednesday I met with my line manager (who is also a good friend) for coffee to discuss my return to work.
I’ve been feeling really anxious about going back. I don’t particularly know why. I’ve had my ups and downs with work over the years, mostly down to previous line managers but I’m generally in a very good place with it. And I’m not really an anxious person. Yes, I worry. But I wouldn’t call it anxiety.
When I really think about it, it’s probably because I have no idea how I’m going to feel. Knowing my immune system isn’t the greatest, I’m worried about catching a virus from someone. I’m worried about being exhausted. And if there’s one thing I’m scared of in life, it’s the unknown!
I’m sure once I have that first day out of the way I’ll feel loads better. What’s hardest is I’ve always been a girl who likes a plan and if I don’t have one I get VERY frustrated by it. I can be a bit of a “Monica Gellar” when it comes to stuff like that. But my plan can only be “going with how I feel” and having trust that both of us (me and my manager) will keep lines of communication open. I trust that she will. I just know I have a tendency to try and power through and not necessarily notice that I need to turn the pressure off until it’s too late!
So tomorrow, I’ll be heading into work late morning / lunchtime, and working until Wednesday. I’m going to try and stay in work for as long as I can on all days but I need to be honest with myself and not push too hard either. I’ve not got much to do so I’ll be on “lighter duties” to start with.
In other news, not working on Thursday next week will free me up for a second Reiki Healing session. I was blown away by my first session this week. I’ve been feeling drawn to Reiki for a little while so I’m really pleased that I had the opportunity to experience it.
For those unfamiliar, it’s all to do with our “life force energy” and how it flows through us. It links into our chakras and Reiki healing can “unblock” energy that’s stuck or manifesting in certain places. Energy that’s stuck can make us feel physically, or emotionally unwell.
I’m not going to talk to much more about what I experienced in the session, and what Nicola (my therapist) said she could sense in terms of my energy because it’s a really personal experience, but I would highly recommend it. Nothing like anything I’ve ever experienced before!